The Pursuit of Happiness – Titus 2

Most of us who follow Christ believe (or at least, we believe we believe) that riches do not bring happiness. Many of us also have figured out that fame can be a truly difficult blessing. But the one place where we often assume the end of the happiness rainbow can be found is in our relationships.

The problem with this is not that there are not great joys to be experienced in healthy relationships. The issue is that when we are unhappy, we have an almost universal impulse to put pressure on those around us to remedy our discontent. In other words, we pursue our happiness by subconsciously demanding it from others.

But as I read the Bible, I do not find support for this plan. To be sure, there is much written about how we are to treat others with godly love and kindness. Yet surprisingly, even this is not to be done primarily with their happiness in mind. How much less are we encouraged to expect them to be responsible for our emotional well-being.

Titus 2 is a little chapter that is packed with relationship instructions. Older men are to be "sound in faith, in love, in patience." Older women are not to slander and are to teach "good things" to the younger women, including how to love their husbands and children. Young man are be a pattern of godliness so others can find nothing bad to say about them. Servants are told to please their masters in all things.

But if we look closely, all of these qualities are to be pursued for one very specific purpose: the glory of God. In verse one they are called "the things which are proper for sound doctrine." In other words, the holiness of our lives is intended to bring credibility to the truth of God’s principles.

Therefore, young women are to be "discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their husbands" ... why? "That the word of God may not be blasphemed." Bondservants are to be "obedient to their own masters, to be well pleasing in all things, not answering back" ... why? "That they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things."

I have learned that the best motivation for me to authentically and permanently change my behaviors is my desire to please God. While I realize that His acceptance of me is based on His own love, not on what I do, nonetheless I have no greater joy than to know my words and actions are pleasing to Him.

But if you think about it, this recipe for honoring God is what also makes our human relationships healthy and fulfilling. A husband who is "sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience" for God’s glory is going to be a joy to his wife as well. A servant who is honest, loyal and respectful because God is pleased by this will certainly be a pleasure to his master too.

The world around us, and sometimes even the church itself, can so often become obsessed with finding formulas for a happy marriage, well-adjusted children, and prosperous business relationships. We sometimes even ask God to help us with these goals.

But suppose we were to make a healthy relationship with God Himself our primary goal? Suppose our minds were so focused on seeing His kingdom come, His will being done, in our lives for His sake, that everything else became secondary?

It is my belief that as we deliberately turn our hearts and thoughts toward Jesus, the things of earth will begin to take their proper place in our lives. That's because He always directs us back to the needs of those around us. "If you love Me, feed My sheep," He told Peter (John 21:17). But we will love them best if we minister to them for Him...not because of their loud, hungry bleatings.

For you see, they are in fact His sheep...just as we ourselves are. He is providing for their happiness, and He will provide for ours. And so truly, when we seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, all good things will also be added to us (Matthew 6:33).